Join Me In My Madness
by Mimi-dudette
Summary: Set just after Taylor gets blown by the gas. She doesn't die... But suddenly her world is taken away and twisted. She tries to hold onto sanity but she now knows the name of her obsession. Tobias. There are worse things than death...EXTENDED!
1. Insanity

**I'm working on My chaps for my Teen Titan Fan fics, but I was just TOO tempted, so I wrote a One-shot on my favorite insane villain; Taylor! At the moment, It's a one shot, but if I get enough support, I'll turn it into a proper story :D It begins just as Taylor is blown away by the gas at the end of book #43. I know there have been a few stories like this but hopefully, mine has a twist you won't expect. ;D**

**Thanks To SEGsquirrel who Beta read this piece for me ^^ Cookies for her! :D**

**Disclaimer: *reads of some paper* I don't own the Animorphs. *throws paper away* But I do own the red motorcycle! :D

* * *

  
**

My name is Taylor.

Taylor the Yeerk. Taylor the human. Taylor the torturer.

I've destroyed a soul, and I'm damn proud. You never feel as alive as when you're causing someone to squirm in pain, to spill his soul and scream all of his weaknesses out like the fool he is.

I smirked, my artificial hand hovering over the gas pipe as I watched him struggle with indecision, eyes locked on me; though he was in Taxxon morph, I could see his tortured soul, his weak heart and broken self. **I **had helped break him. **Me. Us. **Because of it, I knew him better than anyone and he knew it; I had the power to destroy him.

I had tortured him to within an inch of his life and then he had escaped, leaving me to the mercy of Visser three...But now I had my revenge! I would kill them and the pathetic Yeerk peace movement in one beautiful sweep. But in my mind, all I saw was HIM dying. His scream as fell into the explosion.

Him.

The Andalite.

The one who escaped and claimed that _I _was weak. Hah! I...I wasn't weak! I was stronger than that fool; I had broken him! He shook with terror at the sight of me! He didn't _know _me. I controlled him and I was about to take my revenge out on him!

The human Taylor resurfaced and glared through my eyes, powerless; she had softened recently, weakened. She didn't think that lying and taking so much life was _right_. The edges of her hatred had smoothed and tamed. I've had no choice but to cut her off completely from control.

_Please... Don't. Don't do this__,_ she pleaded.

_I will destroy him... them... for what they did to us. It's all their fault! Everything!_ I almost screamed in the insane thrill of the moment; I knew she knew all this. She was just too _weak _to admit it.

_But-_

_You enjoyed __it__, _I interrupted, sneering as I used my trump card. _When we tortured him! When we watched his soul spill out and saw him battle with his foul existence. You were laughing with me. You knew he deserved it. Andalite scum messing with our invasion! Acting as though it knows us! It deserved the torture._

She fell silent. I knew that back when we were closest, when our minds were tangled in every thought, she hated them as much as I did. She supported us Yeerks because we gave her what no-one else would give us; beauty, acceptance, power. She enjoyed his pain back then, and I wasn't going to let her sudden weakness let her forget it.

_Get her! _one of the other Andalites cried; I focused in the dark slime-covered tunnel and saw the rest of the pathetic Bandits lopping towards us, my personal paralysing gas slugging their movements. I relished the sight. _Tobias, get her!_

My smile broadened.

Tobias.

Strange name for an Andalite. Maybe it was short for something. I could see him practically shaking now, unsure, doubting himself.

I turned and raised my arm, preparing to burst the pipe and blow these fools to kingdom come.

_NO!_ Someone yelled.

_Die__,__ Tobias_, I thought, smashing a hole clean through the pipe.

Instantly, reality changed.

Gas filled the air, choking and billowing, ramming into us with as much force as a bull. I was instantly knocked off my feet, thrown through the air with such power, it almost ripped me apart. My hair and clothes flew around me, slapping me like whips.

And I was laughing.

Because it was so _funny_. It was so _amazing_. I was going to kill them all, get my revenge, and get my life and reputation back. But all I could do was laugh as I listened to their screams echo around my head. I managed to force my eyes open enough to see Tobias as I flew past him. His Taxxon face was crunched with horror as he realised he was going to die.

So _funny_.

Taylor was screaming hysterically in our head; she was going to die too. I don't care. She isn't _anything _to me! She was a host and that's it! She doesn't... she doesn't mean anything. I am a Yeerk. I probed her mind and felt, under the horror, under the panic, under the terror; the tiniest bits of satisfaction at seeing Tobias meet his fate.

The tiniest bit.

I drew it out.

We were thrown through the tunnel, slamming into the sides, rocks cutting our skin and foul Taxxon-slime burning us. Hysterical half-scream half-laughs were coming from us, crackling into our ears before the sound got stolen away by the rushing gas. Together we screamed, and together we laughed.

I was slammed into a ledge, caught for a few seconds, something stabbing into my leg and tons of gas pounded me against the rock.

Why hadn't it exploded yet? Were they dead? Was he dead?!

I couldn't breathe, couldn't hear, and couldn't see; the gas was everywhere! It leaked into my head; it attacked my artificial skull that protected my brain. That protected _me_. Why hadn't it exploded yet? Unreal pain shot through my body, yet it all seemed to concentrate in my skull; it was suffocating! I was burning! No, No! It shouldn't be like this, _I _shouldn't be feeling this pain, and it should have exploded by now and killed them all! Why was _I _feeling pain? What was happening?! Was Tobias dead?!

I wanted him to be. More than anything, I wanted him to scream in pain and _die_. How dare he make us feel this pain! It was all his fault! All... his fault... it had to be all his fault...

Taylor screamed in my head, yet I could tell... she agreed...

Something burst! It hissed! My skull, my head! Gas, heat, pain; it was too much, too much! I could feel the gas start to die down slightly, very, very slightly, yet the pain still continued. The hiss as something melted, reacted, died...

The pain!

I wished it onto _him _as darkness began to eat away at our sight...

A rock, flying because of the force of the gas, hit my head roughly and everything died.

oOoOoOoOoOo

We woke up at the same time, the human and I, groggy and slow, pain still numbing our senses; Strange, we hadn't woke at the same time since before his torture...back when we were basically the same being. My eyes opened slowly and I stared stupidly forward, not really taking in the settling dust or fallen rocks.

I was suddenly aware of the pain I was in; my head burned, my body cried and something was sending sharp stabs of pain from my heel. The pain frayed my nerves, a clear shock through the fog. My sight traveled down to my body and I almost recoiled at the sight; slime and dirt covered me, and I was almost blanketed with huge cuts and bruises. My left heel was bloody and mangled; a certain Taxxon's handy work.

I remembered him, Tobias, and a strange sound ripped from my throat. He was dead... He had to be dead! I hardly realized that I was shaking. He must die! He couldn't live because... He couldn't! No! He should die for the pain _we _were feeling right now! Where was the explosion? Where was the gas? No! What was happening? Why wasn't my plan working, why wasn't the Visser returning to me the power we deserve?! Why?

It was... it was his fault... he had done something. It was him! How _dare_ he live...But... maybe he wasn't alive! The gas might still have killed him! Yes, yes! I had to check. Make sure.

Taylor growled out loud, no energy to speak but still- wait. What?

She controlled my mouth! I shook my head and tried to push the fool back again but... something was wrong. I crawled to my knees and Taylor heaved herself up; we both grit our teeth as we tried to hold back the wave of pain coming from our leg. What was happening? I could sense Taylor's confusion as strong as my own and together, we stumbled forward, slipping in the thin layer of slime not thrown by the gas.

"What's happening?" Taylor demanded.

"Shut up!" I hissed back.

We were both controlling our mouth! She wasn't under my control; suddenly, we were equal. No! I was a Yeerk, higher than everything! I tried to feel my own slug-like body, coiled around her brain, but it felt amazingly hard... as though I wasn't really there anymore...

She realized it first.

"Get out!" she screamed; panic suddenly filling us with horrified adrenaline. "Get out! Get out!"

I tried, I tried to escape from the coils of her brain, but I wasn't there. I was her. She was me. What had happened to us?!

"I can't get out! You scum, you scum!" we screamed together as realization hit us like a ton of bricks. "You've destroyed me! Get out of my head! What's happened? I can't! We will be killed! Get out, get out!"

No-one else would understand the horrified ramblings of two mortals, trapped in one body; we were both screaming, almost falling into insanity. Later, I would guess that the gas and heat had reacted with our artificial skull and had fused our bodies together; but right now, all I could feel was sick. The Visser would say I was now a threat; too much of a risk. Taylor might spill the truth of the invasion; I was worse than an escaped host. This time... he would kill me for sure. He wouldn't hesitate. He wouldn't even think about it. I was a freak, a danger to Yeerks and humans alike.

"It's his fault." We spoke almost mechanically, totally in sync. "His fault."

We stood up and began searching; looking for anything to tell us of Tobias's death. Anything to prove that the Andalites were dead and that _we_ had done it. Just before the gap that lead the Yeerk pool, the tunnel had collapsed, as I knew it would before one of our people could re-fill the tunnel. We pressed our ear against the hard rock, straining for any sound that would slip out the truth of their deaths. The side of our face stung horribly but we ignored it.

Nothing.

We began to walk through the tunnels, the same ones again and again, searching for what must have added up to hours. When our legs buckled with pain and tiredness, we crawled, our hands and knees growing red and raw.

Nothing.

Nothing, nothing, nothing!

I would have screamed again but Taylor made me hold on; she wanted him dead for this horror but she tried to remain one step further away from insanity. We couldn't talk in our heads anymore but I really didn't care; I needed to shout, to listen to my anger!

"Why isn't he dead?" I shouted, grabbing the rock.

"He will be," she promised, using the rock to shakily get us to our feet.

"I will find him and kill him with our own two hands! Then the other bandits!"

"The Visser still won't accept us! You know-!"

"I don't care, I don't care! I need to... need to _kill something_."

"There are worse things than death."

We smirked.

Suddenly, we jumped three feet into the air as a male voice rang out, shockingly close.

"Woah! What the hell happened here?"

We slipped and fell backwards onto the rock, the last of the slime stinging as it slapped our skin; a loose rock stabbed into our bloody heel and we cried out in pain as electricity jolted up our leg like lightening.

"Hey, I think I heard someone, down here!"

"Ugh, God, this place is _disgusting_. You sure you heard someone?"

I saw a faint light as someone entered the tunnel and stumbled closer the corner that separated us; I hadn't realized we were so close to the entrance. We would have glared at the fools, but the pain was building now and we were too busy fighting away tears and unconsciousness.

"Oh my God! Chad, get over here!" Someone with a flashlight was now kneeling next to us, voice cracking with shock as he took in our bloodied body; I couldn't focus enough to really take in what he looked like, but I could tell he was big; his broad shoulders shadowed me. "Are you okay?"

"Do I look okay, you idiot?" I snapped; he seemed completely unfazed by my response, fussing around me like an irksome fly.

He said something but it was hard to concentrate; blood was everywhere and the pain was starting to eat away at me. Taylor wanted to go with the man, feeling comforted by his presence but I made my anger known, glaring cross-eyed as my sight failed. I didn't need any help! I need to kill Tobias if it was the last thing I did! We couldn't go with them; he might lead us to Visser three! No!

I hardly realized that I wasn't really making sense anymore, thoughts bubbling over each other in a plea to be heard... to be screamed...

"Hey, she's waking up!"

"Thank god... Poor kid."

I blinked blearily in the faint light. What had happened? Where were we?

"You okay, love?" The big man's voice floated towards us again; annoying, foolish, reassuring. We must have lost consciousness for a second because we were suddenly outside, wrapped in something warm. "We lost you for a second there."

"The ambulance will here in about five minutes." Another voice. This was thick with worry, uncertainty. "What do you think happened to her?" I hated the way he spoke, as though we weren't there.

Suddenly, we realized that the big man was carrying us, cradling our body in his arms as he tried to whisper how 'it will all be alright'. I recoiled angrily but Taylor kept one hand clutching his shirt, desperate for his kindness. We noticed the second man, thin with a pig-like snout, hovering near a red motorcycle as though he wanted no more than to jump on and ride away as far as he could.

"Moron..." I muttered, before Taylor could stop me, turning away from the pig-nosed guy and wincing slightly in pain.

The big guy chuckled, his chest shaking softly. "You got that right, kid." He laughed.

"Shut up, George." The pig-nosed guy growled, knotting his brows; we noticed that he was avoiding looking at us; standing well back as though we had a disease. "Just look at her!"

Taylor mentally recoiled as though she had been stabbed through the heart. I understood... She had heard that too many times before, seen people stare in horror at her or just avoid looking all together. She had had that for the most horrible mouths of her life, when everyone either looked at her in pity or disgust, whispering even when they knew she could hear every word.

"_My God, that's Taylor?! What happened to _her_?"_

"_Freak! So much for the prom queen!"_

"_Just look at her!"_

"What do you mean?" we whispered, looking up demandingly at George who was glaring lethal daggers at his 'friend'. "What do you-" Our voice cracked. I could feel Taylor getting more and more distressed, maddeningly so. "What does he _mean_?!"

George opened his mouth wrestling with words that just wouldn't come. After a second, he set us down on some crisp grass, looking into our eyes; for the first time, we could see him properly. He was actually quite young, though his bright golden eyes were creased with worry and pity. The pity that shone through his eyes struck deeper than the pain that still throbbed faintly.

"He just... he just means how pretty you are. _Right_, Chad?"

"That's right..." we muttered to ourselves, suddenly not aware of anything around us. "I'm... pretty. I'm beautiful, they said they I would be!" Taylor suddenly became racked with fear, shivers spreading along our body. "They promised!"

"Of course..." George was frowning slightly now, wondering about our comment.

Terrified, I shoved him away so Taylor could scramble to our feet and stagger the few steps over to the red motorcycle, clawing our way to the side mirror, hands shaking. I think someone tried to say something to stop us, but I couldn't hear anything; Taylor's fear grossly outnumbered my own and seemed to fog my brain as we looked into the mirror.

We screamed, horrified, knuckles going white on the mirror and tears falling like rain water.

A raw burn spread from our right ear and covered just almost half of our face, pulling one eye to the side. The rest of our face was covered in scabs and cuts, general grime coating us and making our face look almost unrecognizable. A deep scar ran over our temple where the rock had hit, dry blood spilling over. We slowly raised a hand and touched the burn tenderly; it stung and would have sent tears to our eyes if we weren't sobbing already.

We...I...she...looked hideous. A monster. Inside and out.

I heard a strange gasping, ripping sound and it took a few seconds for me to realize they were coming from us; Taylor had grown hysterical at the sight, insane sobbing tearing through our chest and sending our whole body shaking on edge.

She had gave up her mind to get her beauty back; now she had lost both, an outsider in every world she had ever known. I let her collapse into George's arms, clawing our face and sobs and screams dieing in her throat.

"It's HIS fault..." No, that wasn't me.. That was Taylor. Human Taylor.

She hissed it out, ignoring George's confused face and glaring at the ground, digging our fingernails into his chest. He tried to softly pry our hands away but we hardly noticed, both thinking the same thought: revenge. It was his fault. All of it.

Our life was as good as gone because of him.

Tobias.

And he would pay.

All pain was suddenly forgotten and lost in the crashing stream of my mind.

A memory suddenly filled my mind, sharp and clear as a knife.

_I stared triumphantly at him, broken and bloody, barely standing in the glass cube. But when he spoke, his voice was harsh._

So you hurt others because of your own suffering?_ he asked, acting as though he knew me. He knew nothing!_

_But even so... I remained silent, staring blankly at him._

Who are you?

_I just stared back. Who was I? Taylor the human questioned herself as well and we both found that we simply didn't know the answer anymore._

Who are you?_ he repeated, voice drilling into me._

"_I'm a sub-Visser in the Yeerk empire," I said, suddenly hollow. _

No. You're a weak, misguided human girl. And you are also insane.

_The words struck home. We sort of hung our head, wondering whether it was true. After a few seconds, we lifted our head and pressed both palms against the glass, staring at him with wide eyes._

_And I smiled._

"_Then join me in my madness, Andalite," I rasped, before pushing the control and sending him to hell._

The words swam around my head, teasing us, provoking. We hung our head so our hair covered our face and hid us from view. Everything we had treasured was gone...everything...and in our mind, it all streamed from Tobias.

We started planning revenge from that instant; we would kill him, but that wouldn't be enough. Not any more.

_So you hurt others because of your own suffering?_

He would die! We had suffered too much to let him live...I'd give him that. We was right about one thing; I simply loved revenge and power too much. He would regret the day he's crossed me! I will kill him as painful as possible, play with his mind, destroy him like he had done to me!

We floated into insanity, no longer with a conscience of any sort, planning the day when Tobias lay motionless at our feet like the Andalite scum he was.

_Join me in my madness..._

George moved my hair away clumsily, bringing me out of my revengeful stupor. "The ambulance will be here soon," he said, lost for any words of comfort. "It...looks worse than it is...look just..."

I silenced him by looking up into his face, my eyes misted over with thoughts of torture. I lifted my artificial arm and wiped some grime from my face, a smirk suddenly on the edges of my features; a stray beam of light reflected off my hand, sending it shining. George noticed it for the first time and frowned, confused; my expression got him spooked and he glanced over his shoulder at his friend who was moving his bike away and clearly not listening in the slightest.

He tried to change the subject, and smiled shakily. "So... what's your name then?"

_Join me in my madness..._

"My name," I purred, "is Taylor."

* * *

**O.O So, What D'ya think? It's my first time writing in this genre so I'm really nervous, I'd really appreciate some feedback on how I did and if I got Taylor right. ALSO, my beautiful readers! :D Do you think it should be a proper story? If I do, I'll be working hard on each chapter so it won't be updated _really _fast but fast enough. :P Also.. they will defo be Tobias/Rachel-ness and Erek in possible future chapters :D  
**

**Please Review! ROCK ON! XD  
**


	2. What would a Hawk do about a ghost?

**I have decided to extend because of everyone who reviewed my last chapter who I love very much :D HUZAH! XD I've got some (hopefully) intense stuff planned but that don't start until chapter 4. I think. ^^" On with Chapter two! :D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Animorphs. If I did, the books would have ended with ' And Rachel and Tobias kicked Visser's butt and lived happily ever after. :D'**

* * *

**Tobias**

My name is Tobias.

And I was one unhappy hawk.

Yeah, _hawk_. Actually, I guess I'm part-hawk, part-boy, and part-Andalite, but that's another story; I'm just your average freak of nature.

But right now, it was this storm that was getting me down; it was partially fierce, scaring off all my prey and making flying, one of my favorite things in the world, almost impossible. I didn't even have a mission to distract me, meaning I was stuck on my soggy old branch and dreaming of warm beds and hot chocolate that the rest of the Animorphs were probably enjoying.

That's us, the Animorphs; Jake, the fearless leader, Marco, your average wise-guy, Cassie, our animal expert, Ax, our resident alien and sort of my best friend, and me, the bird-boy.

And Rachel.

Usually, even thinking about Rachel would lift my spirits, but today I was just feeling in too much of a bad mood; though I still could feel a flicker in my heart and I imagined her. Beautiful golden hair, bright blue eyes, and her trademark devil-may-care grin as she lends us all some of her ever-shining courage…

What? Lovesick? Me? No way. Not at all. Not in the slightest.

…

Ahem…

_Anyway_, moving on…I glared across the meadow at a stream of mud seeping through the woods, driven by the pounding rain. Everything seemed to have lost its color, as though the rain had washed life from the forest and the harsh wind had then stolen it away. Or maybe it was just my mood, making the woods seem dark to match my feelings.

_Oh, very poetic, Tobias. _I would have rolled my eyes if that was at all possible.

Suddenly, a movement caught my eye; for me, that now meant lunch. I tensed, focusing my golden eyes and…was just in time to see a shrew's bald tail disappear into a hole on one side of my meadow. Damn! That was probably the only rodent I was going to see on a day like today, and I had was too busy feeling grumpy to notice it! I would have sworn, but to be honest, I'm not really the swearing type; which is weird because, as I grew up, I probably heard more swear words than you can name.

Instead, I just sulked, ignoring my slightly aching belly and wondering what I would have done if someone had told me five years ago that my life was soon mostly going to be killing and eating; ripping flesh apart and diving in…

_You vile little bird!_

I let out a cry, almost taking wing in fright.

_I will take you into madness, Andalite…_

Sometimes, my reactions are so hawk, it scares me; when I'm scared, I want to fly away, when I'm threatened, I want to flare my wings and scream, when I feel happy, all my hawk brain does is notice a mouse running along the pavement…But what would a hawk do about a daemon, a ghost of a past torturer staring at me and laughing into my ear? The hawk didn't remember. The hawk was startled by my sudden horror and fear, for no real reason that it could see.

I flared and let out a short scream, digging my talons into the branch and flapping; for about 5 seconds, I all but flew away until I managed to compose myself.

_Whoa. _I thought to myself, suddenly preening my feathers furiously as a way to concentrate. It had been…so long since I had seen Taylor fall to what must have been her death…But still, not often, but every now and then, I hear Taylor whispering into to me, mad eyes glaring into my own. It hadn't happened for so long, yet because of that it scared me all the more.

Why couldn't I be half-normal?

I bet my friends didn't have an insane girl's screams echoing around their mind when ever they felt slightly depressed and grumpy because of life. My preening suddenly became frenzied and I stopped quickly, yet still so shaken up that I couldn't stay still; I hopped from talon to talon, dark thoughts changing with every step.

An owl's hoot sounded through the night and made me jump; Taylor's voice had set me on edge. I couldn't stay here now; it was like being at the place of a terrible accident, it felt wrong to be there and still be intact.

I…I needed to fly.

I needed to see Rachel.

Was it pathetic, going to see my girlfriend when the storm and a ghost suddenly terrified me? Running to her when I couldn't stand sitting on my branch alone? Wanting to borrow some of her courage?

Maybe. Probably.

At the moment, I didn't really care.

I had stayed over the night in her room before; she always seemed happy when I gave in to staying, so maybe she wouldn't ask _why _I was flying to her this late. Or was it late? The storm was so harsh, you could hardly see any light seeping through the towers of dark cloud; it could have been early afternoon for all I knew.

Then, as I swooped from the cover of the trees, the storm hit me. Rain pelted me like bullets, the wind rammed into me and tried to knock me off course and a faint rumble of thunder roared from the far-off mountains. There were no thermals to lift me and no maneuver that could help me avoid the rain; all I could do was fly straight through, making myself as streamlined as possible as I battled on. Pretty soon, my wings were burning, screaming out for a rest; usually, this far wouldn't even affect me.

I could have turned back, or even glided down to see whether that tree was free, but now I was on my way, I wouldn't let myself stop. Maybe I wanted the battle and burning muscles to distract me.

As Rachel's house came into view, the rain let off a little as I flapped clumsily because of my messed up feathers.

_Rachel? _I called, suddenly paranoid; I had never flown in when she was dressing but seeing as I didn't know what time it was, I couldn't be too careful; _that _would be awkward. _Can I come in?_

In answer, her window suddenly snapped open and I quickly aimed for it, angling my wings and messed up tail feathers. I swooped closer and-

WHOOSH!

A sudden sharp gust of wind caught my wings and sent me tumbling forward out of control. Luckily, I landed in Rachel's room. Not so luckily, I hit her desk hard and heard a clatter and a tear as my talons caught on something; I then tumbled upside-down and landed on the floor, a mess of feathers and wings. I think I let out a short cry as I fell in, but suddenly everything seemed a bit fuzzy.

"Tobias!" I heard Rachel yell.

_Sugar mice_, I giggled back, dizzy.

I managed to right myself enough to see her roll her eyes, amused; she then wrapped her arms softly around my hawk body and righted me properly, even running her hand down my back to smooth my feathers.

"Are you OK?" she asked, concerned.

I shook myself mentally and looked up at her; my eyes could see her in perfect detail, especially this close, and she was…beautiful. Even though she was wrapped in a night gown and half her hair was falling across her face as she bent down to help me.

_I…I'm fine._ I answered, slightly embarrassed. _Sorry about that…the wind-_

"You fall through a window because a storm, get knocked silly and you're saying _sorry_ to me?" she laughed, eyes glittering. "Don't worry about it, I guess."

I would have smiled back but as that's sort of hard, I settled on hopping onto her desk instead, tilting my head to look at the damage I had to have done; I instantly groaned. There was a wet patch from the window to the edge of the desk, a pot of pens had fallen and one of my talons had ripped through what looked like the start of an essay. In the middle of it all, a musty brown feather lay, shaking as wind still blew in from the window.

_Yeah, I am saying sorry, _I said, a little grumpily. _ I just messed up your desk and your- _I paused to read her paper. _'report on the injustices women faced through the ages'. Catchy title. _I remarked._ Defiantly you. _

She grinned and rolled her eyes again, reaching over to shut the window. "The storm's pretty bad." she observed, glancing almost hopefully at me.

_Storm? What storm? _

She gave me an 'I'm-not-going-to-start-this-again' sort of look, which I've seen a few times lately, and folded her arms, arched eyebrows raised.

"You can stay here tonight, if you like."

_Is that an offer or an order? _I asked, meekly; I wanted to stay, but as always I felt amazingly pathetic, a bird of prey resting in his girlfriend's sock drawer. I suddenly wouldn't have minded if she had thrown me out.

Though of course, she didn't.

"Take it how you want," Rachel shrugged. "But Tobias, look how bad the storm is! At the very least, I bet no prey would come out in weather like this."

She _has _to bring that up; I have no comeback to her when she starts on that. I not sure if _'I think glaring at my meadow and looking for prey that are actually having a kip underground, is the best fun ever!' _is really the best excuse.

_Fine, then. _I pouted, running my beak through my feathers to straighten them out; my feathers were totally messed up by the storm and, apart from getting in the way of flying, they were starting to annoy me. _I had only came to hi, though. _I added for good measure.

She shot me this exasperated look and sighed, before looking back at her desk; I looked too, feeling guilty; but I couldn't exactly clean it up like this. What was I going to do, soak it up with my feathers? Rachel however, didn't seem to mind and set to screwing up her barely started essay and throwing it away before righting the pen pot.

_What time is it? _I asked as she picked up the pens; one had rolled over to me so, trying to help as best as a hawk can, I pecked it up with my beak and held it out to her.

She took one look at me and started laughing, biting her lip to hold it in; smiling at me, she took it from my beak and put it back with a flourish, amused.

"Not that late," she informed me, propping her elbows up on the desk. "About 7 o'clock, I think. Mom has gone with Jordan and Sara to parent's evening, so that's why they didn't come running in when they heard a mad bird come crashing in through my window." She teased, winking.

_Huh, _I replied, pretending to sulk.

She smiled innocently then gazed out of the window, as though a sudden thought had occurred to her; I left her to her musing and fluttered onto the bed, starting to morph human. Rachel jumped up, glancing at me.

"There are some clothes under the bed," she told me. "I'm just going to get something to clean this up with."

I would have apologized again, but she had already sped out of the room, leaving me to melt from hawk to human. The feathers were strangely the last thing to go, leaving me for a few seconds as a feathered boy; imagine a giant skinny chicken with blondish hair sitting on a blue and purple bed and you'll get the idea. But soon enough, they melted away and hid back beneath my skin, leaving me 100% human; more or less anyway.

I wasted a second to glance at my human hands, and then dived under the bed, finding a small suitcase where Rachel had hid some clothes for me; I coughed and wiggled my jaw as I pulled it out, trying to smooth out my usually unused human mouth.

"Hello." I muttered. Or tried to mutter anyway. It sort of came out as "Jelcho."; quickly coughing again and rubbing my jaw, I tried again. "Hello."

Much better; though if Rachel had walked back in right then, she probably would have thought I had lost it and had resorted to talking to myself.

Picking the first thing I came into contact with, I grabbed some clothes out of the suit case and promptly kicked the case back under the bed, noticing with a frown that my hair was dripping wet. Running my hand threw it, I awkwardly stuffed some jeans and a random shirt on and sat carefully on the end of her bed, fiddling with a tag that hung from my jeans; surely it didn't take this long to get a cloth or something? Maybe I should go to help her. Or maybe she wants me to stay put. Or maybe I should just shut up.

I pulled my knees up and lent on them, staring at the floor, though not really seeing it; my mind slowly and reluctantly wondered back to Taylor. She was insane. She was dead. She was in my mind.

I felt certain that after a while, her voice would disappear altogether…after all, after my torture, I had heard her every minute until she died, but now, I hardly heard her at all. But still…how long would it take? What if she didn't leave? I had never told any of my friends about what she could still do to me; I wouldn't be able to stand their looks of pity.

Taylor had understood me to some extent, but what horrified me more than that was how well I understood her; her weakness, her fear and her craving. I understood her and the Taxxon far better than any of my friends did, just because of how I've had to live; just enough like them. In my opinion, two of the vilest creatures I know, and I understand each of them; it disgusts me as much as it frightens me.

I wondered what had happened to Taylor's body; destroyed by rock, gas or even dracon beam? Maybe she was buried with a funeral, a charade her controller mother would put on for the daughter who had betrayed her for her looks. If their were any reports on her being missing, I hadn't seen them and my friends hadn't mentioned them; I sighed as I realized the latter actually could be true. They were always extra careful around the whole subject of Taylor and my capture, as though they expected me to break down at the very mention of her; their hyper-sensitivity annoyed me, but maybe they thought it was for the best.

It doesn't really matter; I get reminders of her in my mind, I won't let what I hear bother me.

I could talk to Rachel about it, but she had comforted me before, and I'm not sure if she would understand if I told her how it still made me shiver.

"_The past is the past, Tobias." Rachel smiled at me, squeezing my hand as we sat together on that secret cove. "Let it go…"_

Staring into space, I became almost unaware of where I was.

"Tobias?"

I jumped about three feet into the air and jerked my head up to see Rachel standing by the door, looking slightly concerned. In her arms was a towel and two huge mugs, steam rising up in swirls around her face.

I mentally kicked myself and tried to smile, apologetically. "Sorry, I was just…thinking."

"About what?" she asked, not nosily, just concerned; she sat next to me and pressed the mug into my hand, warmth spreading from it blissfully.

"Nothing," I tried to sound off-hand, as I looked into the mug, avoiding her eyes. The smell of hot chocolate steamed up into my nostrils and I almost died with delight; how long had it been since I'd had chocolate? Never mind _hot chocolate_. "Thanks, Rachel." I said, glancing up at her; she smiled quickly and placed her drink on the bedside table, picking up the towel.

"No problem."

I cupped my hands around the mug, relishing the smell and feeling of it while clearing my mind, when I suddenly started as I saw Rachel; she had walked over to the desk and was about to start cleaning up _my _mess, which _I _had made because of the stupid storm which was still raging outside.

"Let me do that," I told her quickly, jumping up and feeling amazingly guilty.

Rachel turned and gave me a look; you know, one of _those _looks.

"Tobias, stop trying to be all gentlemanly, it's only small and _I'm_ going to clean it." she smiled innocently and raised her eyebrows. "Got it?"

There's no winning with her.

"Fine…" I sighed yet still not sitting back down.

Rachel turned back round then paused, looking at something out of my view; I was about to move to look, when she turned back to me while twirling one of my reddish brown feathers delicately between her fingers. It had snapped off when I had crashed through her window though I had completely forgotten about it; I stared at it blankly and she laughed, moving closer and holding it up.

"I can accessorize with anything," she informed me, grinning; before I could do anything, she had tucked it behind my ear, moving my hair out of the way. Still grinning, she took a step back to look over it, proudly. "Very nice."

"Any reason for that?"

"Not really."

I laughed and shook my head, bemused; I lifted a hand to take it out but she caught my hand in her own, with her mouth open to protest. I looked at her and she just smiled instead, looking back into my eyes as I squeezed her hand slightly. I suddenly noticed my heart was beating wildly as Rachel moved a bit closer, still looking into my eyes. I don't know how we were suddenly only a few inches apart, but we were.

She was so beautiful…so perfect…so amazing and for some reason, she loved me. I loved her too. We hadn't actually said it, but we knew; it was too perfect to be happening to _me_…and I know that sounds cheesy. Shoot me.

We moved closer and as I lifted a hand to cup her face…

_Rachel and Tobias are going to make out!_

We jumped apart, startled as Marco's laughter rang in our heads; my leg caught onto the bed and I fell onto it, the feather knocking out of my hair and floating to the floor.

_Now, Tobias is on the bed, _Marco continued, by the sound of it, barely able to contain his laughter.

_What?! _Cassie. Goodbye, perfect moment.

Rachel flushed angrily and threw the towel over the wet patch on the desk before opening the window and glaring out into the evening; the moment she opened it, the howling wind blew in over me, blissfully cooling my hot flushed face. After a few seconds, two identical gray and white ospreys swooped in and I quickly jumped up to give them room to maneuver; even just by looking outside, I could tell the storm was no way as bad as it was.

"What are you doing here?" Rachel snapped, folding her arms and giving them both a look; basically, just think _if-looks-could-kill _and you'll get the picture.

_Sorry, we didn't mean to _interrupt _anything, _Marco managed to snort before collapsing into laughter again.

Rachel sent him a deadly look, the flush in her cheeks fading much faster than mine, and turned to the osprey who was wasn't jostling about like an idiot. I moved my feet awkwardly, begging my face to stop burning as I looked up at Rachel and osprey we assumed was Cassie, though at the back of my mind, there was a little voice grumbling; _if only they had been two more minutes…_

_Well, _Cassie started, sheepishly, as though she thought they had interrupted something too. _Jake says Erek needs to see us._

_See, he phoned me and asked if _I _would come over and get you on the way while he phoned Cassie to tell her. _Marco interrupted, happily taking on the story-telling role, still with a smirk in his voice. _So after finishing my packet of highly nutritious cheese puffs, I morphed and flew off; just to run into Cassie on the way to your house. So she came with me here and well… _He gave a dramatic sigh, tilting his head. _The rest, as they say, is history. Now come on, your turn; what were _you two_ doing?_

Rachel looked like she was about to flip out on him so I quickly stepped in, still looking at Cassie. "What does Erek want?" I asked, quietly.

_Hm? Oh, Jake couldn't say over the phone, but I think we better get going. _She replied; I took from her distracted tone and the fact that Rachel suddenly looked a bit calmer, that she was soothing her in private thought speak; no doubt when Rachel had morphed, they would have a huge private thought speak conversation on the subject.

_Probably just the usual, _Marco commented as Rachel quickly scribbled a note and I began to de-morph. _You know, doom and gloom. Go on a suicide mission to Antarctica and don't forget to send me a postcard!_

As I de-morphed, I suddenly realized that we were leaving the hot chocolates Rachel had kindly brought up; typical.

"Right," Rachel said, straightening up suddenly. "Cassie, it was a homework emergency so I stayed over at your house."

_As long as your Mom doesn't phone up mine, I'm supposed to be at your house, _Cassie laughed, hopping closer to the open window; I pecked my way out of my clothes and wondered vaguely if all their cover-ups were this fool-proof.

Rachel grinned as she turned the light off then started as she realized she was the only one without at least a half-morphed back of feathers; never one to be left out for long, she began morphing, proud bald-eagle feathers bursting out of her skin and powerful wings taking over her arms. Maybe it's just because I'm a bird most of time, but I actually like watching Rachel morph to eagle; it's kind of amazing, like her fighting spirit is showing up on the outside for the world to see.

You know you're looking at something special when you see a bald-eagle.

Red-tailed hawk? Not so much.

Rachel insisted on going first, though she had to duck and practically throw herself off the window ledge until she had enough room to fully open her wings and start flapping.

_It's pretty dark, _she observed, as though jumping out of your window and flying away was perfectly normal. _Maybe I should have gone owl._

I swooped neatly out behind her after she had gained a bit of distance, catching a lucky breeze and zooming up straight away; though I was high up already, I could still spot a mouse running through a choppy lawn, probably making its way to its nice warm mouse hole.

_It's light enough. _I informed Rachel.

She didn't reply.

After a minute or so, I heard an exasperated sigh as Cassie caught up with us; the next second, I heard Marco too, boasting about his superior flying skills. Yeah, right.

_Marco, my wingtip brushed the window frame. It's hardly the shock of the century. _Cassie pointed out, stopping him mid-rant.

_Ah, but you see, my dear Cassie, _Marco gave a huge fake sigh and started in his 'talking-to-idiots' voice. _Accuracy is everything. It takes a brilliant and amazingly smart mind to get through a window, not to mention cute._

_I bet you touched it too, _Cassie accused, _That window's too small for you to get through that perfectly._

_Did not. _Marco pouted. _You're just jealous that I'm the best flier!_

_Race you anytime, Marco. _I laughed, grinning to myself when he coughed instead of answering.

_Hey, Tobias! _Rachel called back to me and I instantly turned my attention to her. _Marco's just out of my thought speak range; is he hassling Cassie? Tell him if he is, I'm going to beat him up. _she half-joked, and I could see her tilt her wings slightly to try and get closer.

I laughed and caught a beautiful thermal; I rose up on the pillow of warm air and used it as an excuse to glance behind me.

_Marco? Rachel says leave Cassie alone or she'll beat you up._

Marco snorted, knowing full-well that Rachel couldn't hear him and enjoying the moment. _I can see why you like her, Tobias, _He commented as I used the gained altitude for a burst of speed; I instantly glanced behind me again, though I don't think he could see me. _She's so full of love._

Cassie suddenly spoke up, a smile evident in her voice.

_Yeah, _she said, strangely happy and serious at the same time. _She really is._

We closed into Erek's house and I found myself wondering what she meant; after thinking about it for a few moments, I still didn't get the hidden meaning and concluded that it was just one of those 'Cassie' things.

* * *

**Awww, Cassie-moment-that-nobody-but-Cassie-really-gets! XD I'll leave it to you clever readers to work out what she means… *cough* Rachel and Tobias forever *cough* ^^**

**Thank-you to everyone who has read this far and Please review with any thoughts on it :) I promise things will pick up by chapter 4. Chapter 3 might take a bit longer since it's going to have a fight scene and a cliff hanger! Oh, the horror! D:**

**Please Review, You All Rock! :D**


	3. So many times before

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Animorphs. In my head I do, but I doubt if that'll hold up in court. XD  


* * *

**

**Jake**

I paced around Erek's front room impatiently, glancing out of the window with every step, frown becoming deeper each time I did so; the more I thought on what Erek had said, the more urgent it seemed and my friends _still _weren't here.

With the exception of Ax, that is. He was in human morph, standing on one side and eyeing a bowl of plastic fruit. Mr. King winced then sighed, relieved as Ax turned his attention away from them, probably deciding that, edible or not, this wasn't really the time.

Surprisingly tactful.

Mr. King had found him and got him to come less than five minutes ago, and I could tell he was annoyed by the fact I had made him wait for the others until we went over everything, though he would never admit it. But I was still trying to smooth out the kinks myself; best to get it all straightened out before I tried to brief everyone.

Sighing, I walked over to the open window and lent on it with my back facing the cool wind outside; I looked up to see everyone staring at me, as though they expected me to start a speech or pep talk or something.

I looked away.

Over the last two years, I guess I had grown up a lot, perhaps _too _much, but still I could feel the leadership I was supposed to have press down on me from all sides. I sometimes doubted my ability to handle it all, but there was no way I could back out now; the responsibility, the guilt, the soldier was now part of me.

"Are you sure it's going to be tonight?" I asked Erek, if for nothing but to break the silence.

Erek raised an eyebrow, as I had already asked the same question about twenty times.

"Definitely. Today's Friday, when a lot of high ranking Yeerks meet up. Perfect chance for them to strike."

I nodded intently, as though this was all new important news that I hadn't already heard many times before. I cast him a grim smile then lent back, wondering whether I should go with the '_morph-and-find-them-the-hard-way' _plan after all.

_Jake, it would help if you weren't standing in front of the window! _I jumped and looked round to see a huge bald eagle coming up fast, pressing it's wings against it's body to get as small and streamlined as possible.

"About time." I grumbled, standing back as Rachel swooped in, flaring a second too late and having to fly round the room twice before landing.

Marco, Cassie and Tobias soon followed; Cassie had to make the same maneuver as Rachel while Marco nearly crashed into the opposite wall. Tobias fluttered in neatly, muttering something about 'flying with amateurs' before he perched on the arm of Ax's chair. I raised my eyebrows at them and folded my arms impatiently as they started to de-morph.

"What took you so long?" I asked, a little too grumpily than needed.

"Rachel and Tobias were having some lovey-dovey time," Marco grinned, now mostly human. "We had to drag them away from each other."

O-o-okay…I wasn't expecting that. _'There was an emergency concerning a newly opened packet of cheese puffs' _maybe. I blinked and looked blankly at Rachel, who looked outraged, and Tobias, who was suddenly preening his feathers; Cassie, fully human, smiled at me almost apologetically and I smiled back, deciding to just not say anything.

"What is 'lovey-dovey time?" Ax asked, bluntly. Then he paused, distracted as he tried to get his human mouth around the words. After a second, his face lit up like a toddler with a brand new toy. "Lovey-dovey…dovey…love…ovy! That is a very pleasing sound!"

Marco looked delighted and grinned wickedly at Rachel, spreading his hands and making a face. "It means Rachel was going to give Tobias a big-"

"That's it!" Rachel yelled; she jumped up, grabbed the closest thing to her - a footstool - and began chasing Marco, holding it above her head. Marco snorted to himself before dodging behind Mr. King and sticking his tongue out; _very mature, Marco,_ I thought, sighing as Mr. King gave me a look that clearly questioned certain people's sanity.

"We have actually got something to talk about you know." I told them, putting on my best only-responsible-one-in-the-room face. Rachel stopped and lowered the footstool slowly, though she was still glaring at Marco, who smiled innocently back; Tobias still seemed very interested in his right wing. "We need to go back to the Yeerk pool."

That got everyone's attention. Marco, Rachel and Cassie gaped at me, Ax just nodded sternly and Tobias stopped his beak mid-preen and looked up, tilting his head.

"Why?" Cassie asked, filling the silence and sitting on the last chair in the room.

Erek stepped forward and I let him 'take the floor'; I still had to smooth out what we were going to do. I seemed to be forgetting something, though I couldn't put my finger on what it was. I stood by Cassie and she smiled up at me, slipping her hand off the arm of the chair to hold mine; she, of course, could tell I was a bit stressed and was trying to reassure me, holding it tightly. Relaxing slightly and quickly smiling back, I squeezed her hand, not taking my eyes off Erek and trying to ignore Marco, who had just seen us.

"The Yeerk peace movement," Erek began, "is, as you know, made of Yeerks who are tired of the cruelties of Visser three and are working slowly and quietly against him. I've found however, that a small number- only about five- are going to attack the Yeerk pool tonight, in hope of destroying some high-ranking Yeerks while they feed and-"

"That's impossible!" Cassie interrupted, horrified, letting go of my hand; everyone turned to stare and she blushed, though still determined. "The peace movement is made of non-violent Yeerks; they would never sink down to that level; it's exactly what they stand against!"

Erek nodded, looking tired. "Like I said, this is only a tiny majority who feel they need to do this to take a step forward. They seemed to have been inspired by Taylor's charade a while back." Here he paused and I saw everyone (including me) shoot Tobias a quick glance. He ruffled his feathers but otherwise ignored us; he was probably annoyed but we couldn't help worrying. His time with Taylor had changed him; he was quieter and doubted himself more, spending more and more time on his own. He had got a lot better since Taylor had died, but still. "Most of the movement," Erek continued, "knows what Taylor was and are totally against this but this small minority thinks she was on the right track, but not so _extreme_. Oh, and they don't plan to kill you either."

"But they'll be captured!" Cassie objected, standing up. "They'll be captured and tortured for information on the rest of the movement! They must know that!"

I rested my hand on her shoulder, attempting to calm her down while Erek answered. "I never said they were the brightest bunch," He shrugged. "Their plan was, put the masks on, go in, shoot, get out. Might have worked if the Visser hadn't caught wind of it and stationed a dozen Hork-Bajir controllers on standby."

"This is why I hate Yeerks." Marco growled, suddenly serious. "So we've got to go in and stop them being idiots and getting themselves killed? Perfect."

"They won't be killed." Mr. King spoke up for the first time, speaking as though he was explaining something very obvious to a very dim child. "They'll be captured and used for information."

I half expected him to add _'duh'_ to his statement.

"So, why are we still standing here?" Rachel demanded, hands on hips. "We need to get there so we can kick butt and save their sorry a-"

"I agree with Rachel." Ax interrupted, "Perhaps we should morph birds, Prince Jake?"

"Actually," I smiled grimly and turned to everyone. "I had a slightly different morph in mind."

Marco narrowed his eyes. "Why don't I like the sound of that?"

"Its not that bad, as long as everyone has their eyes shut while we morph. We've done it before loads of times. No big deal."

Erek, who knew what I was talking about, settled on the sofa and grinned. "Good luck, guys." He said happily.

Marco turned on him, glaring. "Good luck?! That's what you always say! While you're here watching the TV, we're going to be getting ourselves killed for some stupid Yeerks!"

Cassie shot him an unusually dirty look but Erek just smiled innocently. "I don't know what you mean Marco." He said. "I'm going with you."

..x…Madness…x…

So, nearly an hour later, were clutching to Erek's real body under his hologram as fleas.

Very, very _bored _fleas.

_Are we there yet? _Marco whined for the millionth time.

_Marco, I swear, if you say that one more time… _Rachel threatened.

According to Erek, extremely small animals can go undetected through the Yeerk's bio-filter if they're under his protected hologram, so there we were.

Don't ask me how he knew.

It was pure black, meaning we couldn't even see the smooth metal we were clinging onto for dear life. The fleas mind was always very easy to control, but right now it was almost unbearably blank; the only smell was the faint scent of other fleas and that hardly even registered.

_OK, how about another blonde joke? _Marco asked, desperately.

_No. _Rachel and Tobias responded instantly, already ticked off at the last ten 'blonde' jokes Marco had spewed out.

A pause.

_Are we there yet? Man, this is taking ages. _

_Do you really want me to kill you, Marco? _Rachel asked, testily. _Because I will._

The atmosphere was unbelievably thick and sluggish; I think we were all considering jumping off right now.

_Are we there yet?! _I asked Ax finally, making Marco and Cassie start to laugh.

_Don't you start. _Rachel warned.

Ax came to my rescue. _I believe we should be there by now, Prince Jake. _He informed me; before I could tell him not to call me 'prince', however, I was interrupted by Tobias.

_AHHHH! _He yelled suddenly, almost making us all fall off our perch.

_Tobias! _Rachel shouted, alarmed_. Tobias, what's happening?!_

There was a pause then- _I...I'm OK. _He told us, meekly. _The thing I was standing on started to move, it just surprised me… Yow! Wow! That's bright!_

_Are you outside the hologram? _Cassie asked, mystified.

_Yeah, I- AHHHH!_

_Tobias?! _Rachel yelled again, and I swear she almost jumped off after him herself.

_Tobias, what's going on? _I demanded.

There was an even longer pause and we heard a faint rumbling sound, which I guess was Erek talking, until we finally heard him again. _Good grief, _He grumbled. _Erek, you could have given me a bit of warning before you flicked me off._

_Erm, Tobias? Any chance you can tell us what's going on? _Marco asked, taking the words right out of my mouth.

_Oh, yeah, sorry…stupid flea eyes…OK, I can see now…we're in a sort of store cupboard inside the Yeerk pool and Erek's getting us out without turning off his hologram…he says he's going to get the rest of you now._

Suddenly, whatever I was standing on started to move and I had to stop myself from shouting out as it jolted forward.

_Erm, I'm moving. _Rachel informed us, sounding a bit confused.

_Me too. I - Whoa! _I was cut off by a blaze of light; it overloaded the flea's brain after so long in darkness and I felt a bit dizzy in the blur of light. I still couldn't see anything clear; it was just light.

_Jump. _Tobias prodded, _Unless you want Erek to flick you off._

I quickly did as he advised, tensing my tiny flea legs like coils in a sprig. One…two…three…fire! I sprang forward and went flying through the air, falling uncontrollably and going about a hundred miles an hour…well, it _felt_ like a hundred miles an hour. Rachel let out a giddy yell as we tumbled and cart wheeled through thin air in a mad free-fall, until- WHAM. I hit the floor with a smack and even bounced a few times before rolling to a stop, legs wiggling madly in the air. Feeling _slightly_ vulnerable, I quickly started to de-morph, shooting up at once.

"…tell…I.…out now…." My half-morphed ears caught parts of whatever Erek was saying, though it still sounded so fuzzy it almost gave me a headache.

I strained my eyes, begging them to morph quicker so I could see where we was; slowly, my eyes literally popped into existence and I found that I was facing a bare wall, a dark stain splattered across it messily. Quickly, I used my still crusty arms to spin round and looked hard around the room, checking every detail; we seemed to be in an unused store cupboard, sagging shelves loaded with boxes and wires and a pile of paper collected dust in the corner. A bright light bulb swung lazily from the ceiling, the dotted light making the settling dust look like snow.

Tobias was perched on a high shelf, while Erek was standing in the middle of the room, his hologram fizzling and flickering as a piece of alien metal stuck out; squinting my eyes, I could spot three fleas clinging to it then lost them as they jumped wildly into the musky air. The piece of metal instantly slide back under the hologram and Erek lent back against the shelves; his hologram looked so casual, you would have thought he did this everyday.

I got up, fully human, and held a hand out for Rachel who had just finished morphing as well. She ignored my hand and stood up herself, brushing some invisible dust away and smiling at me before glancing at Tobias; she suddenly noticed a partly morphed _thing_ at her feet and quickly moved closer to the wall, wrinkling her nose as what I think was Marco's eye appeared and started to swivel round to a suddenly forming head.

Very attractive.

Shaking my head, I quickly walked over to the door and eased it open slightly; all I could see was a blank corridor though the sudden muffled sounds of screams and sobs told me the Yeerk pool wasn't far away.

"Battle morphs," I hissed over my shoulder, keeping my eyes on the gap as orange and black fur sprung out from my skin.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Erek move closer to the door; his part of the job was to simply disengage the bio-filters so we could escape. No fighting or violence involved. Tobias would keep an eye out for him so we knew when we had to get out.

With the so-called 'peaceful' Yeerks or not.

And with that grim thought, I settled back on my haunches slightly, ready to pounce as I glared through the gap. A dark feeling started to creep up my spine.

This was the worst part.

The waiting.

Knowing that we would soon be fighting for our own and other's lives. Killing. It tore at my nerves and I played the plan over and over again my head, tense; the more I thought about it, the stupider it sounded and surer I was that someone wouldn't be able to get out.

And it would be my entire fault.

We had only been waiting about five minutes, but for every second that slugged by it seemed like an hour. Something nudged my shoulder and I jumped, whipping my head round angrily; Cassie gazed back at me with her huge wolf eyes and nuzzled my shoulder again. Without thinking, I moved my head closer to her; we didn't say anything but I suddenly felt a lot calmer, which she probably knew I would. Glancing over at the others, I saw Ax standing calmly yet tense, tail poised like the warrior he was. Erek and Marco in gorilla morph looked almost bored and Erek raised a holographic eyebrow as Marco stuck a huge sausage finger into one of the boxes, peering in. Rachel and Tobias were totally still, but their heads were inclined slightly towards each other, so I guessed they were having a private talk.

Rachel's huge bear paws twitched impatiently as we waited.

Then- Dracon fire!

TSSSSEEEEEWWWWWWWW!

It was so sudden that it caught me off-guard. Stupid!

I jumped and kicked myself, launching through the door and only pausing to make sure there weren't half a dozen dracon beams points towards the door. I barreled down the strangely empty corridor towards the noise then burst into a large room, pausing for a second to take in the scene.

I could see five humans, wielding dracon beams and sporting dark, full-face masks, who I took to be the peace-movement; they had been forced back into the main entrance hall by a small force of clumsy Hork-Bajir, and, though they all held their weapons strong, three of the five were shaking slightly. They faked courage but you could easily read their eyes; their hearts hadn't been in the attack and they obviously hadn't expected a full-force fight.

I concentrated on the other two, standing in front, their body language bold and daring.

Though they all wore thick padded body warmers over their dark clothes, I guessed that one was a woman, glaring at the force through extremely dark lashes. The other was taller, with distinctively-male broad shoulders and spikes of black hair carelessly slipping from his mask.

The force moved around them, taking quick, clumsy steps; they obviously didn't think much of the resistance and were hardly Blue-Band standard.

Still, there were a lot of them.

All this I took in in a split second, my brain going faster on pure adrenaline.

I coiled my muscles and leaped wildly through the air, just as the Hork-Bajir realized I was there and began turning round to face us. A growl tore from my throat as I leapt for the closest, one with a partially long neck, eyes dancing in the filtered light.

I aimed for his throat.

The first kill was sickeningly easy; we had the element of surprise on our side. Blood dripped from my jaws as I glared at the sudden wave of controllers. We'd lost that element now. Now, it was everything was suddenly black and white. Life or death.

They were instantly all around us, blocking everyone from view. Tobias's scream rang through the room as I slashed and got equally slashed in return as I ran forward to try and find some of the peace movement. I fought a limp as I spotted one desperately trying to keep two Hork-Bajirs at bay with wild and un-aimed lasers from their dracon beam. I growled to myself before launching forward at the taller one, digging my nails into its scaly back and digging my teeth deep in the top of its spine.

It roared with pain, lashing behind its horned head. The back horn caught my shoulder and dug deep, adding my own blood to the mix. The pain was a shock through the fight, but the tiger in my ignored it, and I furiously tore at the nerves in his spine; the alien lay at my feet, twitching.

I would have felt sick with myself. Disgusted. But we had done this so many times before.

I let my tiger instincts and reflexes take over my body, while my human side calculated the situation, spotting weaknesses and leaping into moves no normal tiger would be able to do. The floor was slick with blood as I faced a Hork-Bajir, trying to defend one of the reluctant-looking rebel peace Yeerks, who has apparently forgotten how to shot as they watched the battle around them.

_Tobias! _I snapped, glancing quickly around me, trying to see everything at once.

I tried to ignore the pain growing in my shoulder as I waited a split second for his reply; when it came, he sounded almost as stressed as I felt.

_All of the peace movements are okay. He reported, hurriedly.__I can't see Erek…Jake! Behind you!_

I instantly leaped blindly behind me, claws out and ready; I slammed into a Hork-Bajir, his snake-like face contracted in fury. He yanked his bladed arm forward and a blistering pain shot through my front leg.

I staggered back, heart pounding madly as I suppressed a roar of pain. How many were there? Where was Erek?

A sudden, sharp blast of light shot past my face and I blinked quickly to find the Hork-Bajir, who was worryingly closer to me than he had been a second ago, smoldering at my feet. I could see the person who I had been trying to protect, standing by it, the dracon beam still raised.

I was close enough to see that it was a woman, not that old either. I was close enough to see the shock in her eyes slowly turn to confidence as she realized what she had done. I was close enough to see, just for a second, the normal Yeerk eagerness pass over her face before it mellowed again and she turned to me, as if for instruction.

I allowed a growl in reluctant thanks, feeling strange.

Peace movement, huh?

I whipped round to face the rest of the battle.

I had to focus; I was the leader, it my job to think for everyone else and get them out alive.

Quickly, I tried to assess which way the battle was going. We were slowly gaining ground, but we were hurt and more controllers kept coming. I saw Marco swing a Hork-Bajir round and throw it bodily across the room. I leapt on it, quickly slamming a huge paw into its reptile head. A spasm of pain crinkled across its face once, and then it deflated, unconscious.

I wasn't naïve to the fact that Visser three would be coming. He would have heard that the infamous 'Andalite Bandits' had joined the fight and I gave it perhaps ten minutes before he came to deal with us himself and our chances were severely slashed. Our time was running out. Where was Erek? We needed to-

My thoughts were suddenly cut off by a nearby wolfish howl of pain.

Cassie!

My heart stopped, and then started again, triple time.

I pounced wildly towards where I heard her, dodging nimbly around a human controller. I knew that you shouldn't let your heart get in the way of a battle, but it didn't occur to me then; all I could feel was a blazing urge to check on Cassie, who had earlier held my hand just to make sure I was OK.

I tried to keep the peace movement member in my sight but at that moment I finally spotted Cassie in wolf form and I gagged, a choking sound scraping out of my throat.

Cassie was limp across the floor, blood pooling around her and foam frothing from her muzzle. She had almost been cut in half, a slash spreading from her side, so deep you could practically see her heart beating faintly. Her eyelids flickered weakly.

No.

I now noticed a huge Hork-Bajir standing above her, holding up his huge arm blade for the kill.

He was going to kill Cassie.

_No!_

_Cassie! Morph! _I screamed, throwing myself hard against the alien controller. His blade caught my side but the pain was dull and void next to the panic that was rising like bile.

_Jake…I…can't… _Even her voice was strained and quiet.

If she died it would be _my _fault. _I _had called her and got her to join the battle. I might as well have signed her death warrant.

_Marco! _I yelled, a horrific growl tearing my throat as the huge Hork-Bajir's eyes locked onto me. I couldn't pause to check whether Marco was coming or had even heard me. _Morph now, Cassie!_

_They'll see…me… _She murmured, faintly_.  
_

I was close to screaming how I didn't care but there was still a small part of me that was the leader; it kept me half-way calm and forced me to look at things more strategically. I sometimes hate that soldier embedded in me but right now, it was what was going to keep Cassie alive and our secret safe. Hopefully. Maybe.

The image of Cassie, broken and lying in a pool of her own blood rose against me and I felt sick. She still was de-morphing! Marco had charged his way onto the scene but she was still dying, stubbornly trying to keep our secret safe.

_Morph! Please, Cassie! _I yelled desperately, as the Hork-Bajir charged madly at me. It raised its blades, glinting in the filtered light, already scarlet with blood.

* * *

**Man, I hate this chapter. With a passion. It just...sucks... O_o Sorry for this lousy plot building chapter but never fear! The next chapter is better! :D Hopefully. Neh. I'll let you judge ^^" I've already written it so I'm just gonna go though it and it'll be up pronto! Woo! :D Thankyou a billion to everyone who has read and an extra muffin for people who review! XD  
**

**Random thought: Erek's too serious in this chapter O.O Darn the seriousness! =o**


	4. Revenge is sweet, is it not?

**Hello again! ^^ Welcome to chapter four! *Diabolical laugh* :D The end of the plot building chapters! Hopefully! Yey! :D I think I went over board with this ****bit, it's more like two chapters -.- Do you think I should split it into two chapters? Like, part one and part two? Please tell me in a review or PM if you do ^^ Thanks!**

**This Chapter is dedicated to Mia! :D Because her favorite character returns XD As promised, even more insane than last time ;D**

**Disclaimer: Um. I DISCLAIM! Oh Yeah. :D

* * *

  
**

**Tobias**

I swooped across the battle-zone, dive bombing Hork-Bajir and Taxxon while desperately trying to look for Erek and not get splattered in the process. Things weren't going as well as we'd hoped; everyone was fruitlessly trying to defend the Yeerk peace movement but they were panicking, shooting dracon beams wildly everywhere in an attempt to stay alive. One beam suddenly shot past me, singeing my tail feathers, and I flapped madly, glaring down at the controllers; why were we trying to rescue them again?

I quickly angled my wings and swooped in a close knit circle, trying to count all of the peace movement and make sure none of them had been captured already.

…1...2...3...4-Hey!

I stopped counting and stared down, horrified, at Rachel; she was fighting off two massive Hork-Bajir and racking at them mercilessly while dragging her front paw, but another was sneaking up behind her, raising a blade above her head. It was going to kill her! There was no way she could see him in time!

Without even thinking about it, I folded my wings tight into my body, diving down as fast as I could go, aiming for its ugly head.

Adrenaline and anger suddenly boiled up inside of me and I let it out in an uncontrollable scream as I racked my talons forward. "Tseeeeer! _TSEEEEEER!_"

It looked up in time to get a face-full of talon, as I clutched and stabbed at his eyes; instead of swooping back up, I flapped my wings and hovered above his head, dodging his clumsy blows and even getting to use my beak to hack at him, blood spewing from his ruined eyes. At least he wasn't after Rachel anymore. I narrowly dodged a clumsy blow with his bladed arm as he howled angrily in pain and I saw Rachel turn her head slightly to look at me; she probably would have told me to fly up again and to stop being an idiot but the other two were on her again. She roared and swiped madly with her good paw, smashing into one of their snake-like heads.

The Hork-Bajir fell to the ground, unmoving and the other jumped other its body, uncaring and driven by the thought of Visser three's punishments.

_Marco, get Cassie out _now_!_

Jake's sudden demand shocked me and I looked up confused, flapping my wings slightly to get a bit of altitude; then I saw Cassie and I almost recoiled in shock. She was practically cut in half, blood pooling around her and foam frothing at her muzzle; I could see her eyelids flickering weakly and her fur slowly and choppily began to dissolve as Marco scooped her up, hiding her morphing body under his gorilla hair and muscle.

My tiny bird heart beating wildly and blood pounding in my ears, I scanned the area for Erek as Marco battered his way through the ranks of Hork-Bajir, though most of them lay motionless at his feet; he roughly grabbed one of the movement as he ran and another ran, terrified, in his wake. Jake, coated in shockingly crimson blood, ran after them so he could protect them from other attacks, leaving me, Ax and Rachel to follow and make sure the rest of the peace movement got out as quick as possible.

_We should leave now, before more controllers or Visser three arrives. _Ax pointed out calmly, and we all drew closer to the door, ready to run flat out when we got a signal.

Then suddenly a fresh wave of Hork-Bajir and Taxxons appeared, freezing for a second in a deadly standoff; there was no way the three of us and the last two of the peace movement could hope to defeat all of them in time. But Rachel was already inching towards them, a harsh growl ripping through her throat.

_Erek! _I yelled, my heart suddenly leaping as I spotted him moving quickly towards the exit himself, throwing me a quick glance. _It's Erek; we have to leave while the bio-filter's off! Now!_

Even though they couldn't hear my privet thought-speak, it seemed to trigger life into the second force; the controller Hork-Bajir and Taxxons suddenly surged forward, scrambling over half-dead Hork-Bajir and knocking past Taxxons who had stopped to feed on their former comrades, an uncontrollable, cannibalistic need to eat taking over their bodies. Rachel pulled away, reluctantly, and roughly knocked a masked controller who was part of the peace movement and seemed almost as eager as Rachel to fight.

Almost.

He stumbled back than ran flat-out, scowling, with the others to the exit.

I lagged behind slightly, feeling useless as they tried to outrun the controllers. Maybe I could distract them and give my friends a better chance to escape? Or maybe I should fly ahead and look out for Jake and the others?

Before I could decide, a sudden sharp pain shot down my wing.

A shiver rocketed along my small body, and I flapped madly, confused.

Groggily, I stared hard at a flash of color nestled between my feathers…it was…a…dart? I blinked a few times but an unexpected wave of muddy dizziness had taken over me. I couldn't even think about what the dart meant. I couldn't even think about where I was going…

WHAM!

What was that?! Pain blasted through me as I hit something hard…I couldn't concentrate on what it was as darkness started eating away at my vision.

Numbness throbbed through me as I hit the ground. Shapes, noises! So many things moving around me, kicking me out of the way…my brain refused to let me think and I stared forward as though I wasn't really there, as though as I just a ghost…feebly flapping my wings…trying to clear the fog in my mind…

What was happening? Was I dieing? Did I care?

Colors started to drain away and I hardly felt it as someone scooped me up and started running, holding me close; I blinked a few times and managed to register a flash of blonde hair…Rachel! It must be Rachel! She had come to find me…

_Where's Tobias? _A far-off voice demanded and I mentally frowned to myself; it was Rachel again. She was worried about me. But she had saved me! My Rachel…she worries about me too much…I was fine…

_I'm fine… _I told her, my thought speak strangely weak and clumsy as I lost all feeling and began to float away…

Suddenly, Rachel lent down, her face right next to mine; I couldn't focus on it, but I could tell she was smiling. That was nice.

"You soon won't be." She hissed, a harsh glee behind her voice that almost shocked me back to reality.

I glared at the last blurred shape I could see as it began to fade away, a weird feeling pumping through my veins.

That wasn't Rachel.

I knew that voice.

But it couldn't be…

…

**Rachel**

_Where's Tobias? _I demanded, suddenly noticing that he wasn't with us. Or he wasn't with me, at least.

_Would you quite worrying about your stupid boyfriend?! _Marco snapped back, harshly. _We're running for our lives here!_

A growl ripped down my throat and I put on a burst of speed, anger and adrenaline throbbing through my veins and fogging my already rubbish bear eyes; though I decided to let it slide.

For now.

We were crashing up the stairs of the Yeerk pool, me at the back and Jake at the front; I could tell the human controller in front of me was exhausted but frankly, I didn't _care_. I ran up the steps, not able to go at my full grizzly speed because of the size of the tunnel but still making the controller have to run flat-out to keep from my teeth, barely hidden in a mad bear grin. The 'bad' Yeerks weren't far behind me, but as long I could keep out of their reach until we had cleared the pool, everyone would be okay.

Even though I didn't want to run. I earnestly wanted to go back and kick their butts. Seriously stupid, I know. Shoot me.

_O.K.! _Jake suddenly yelled, sounding stressed. _Everyone, make your way to the forest and try not to lose anyone on the way. _From that, I guessed that him and Marco had just escaped into the small store that had covered the entrance.

I suddenly wondered about Cassie, my best friend since forever. I had heard Jake's desperate attempt to help her and I thought I saw Marco carrying her but other than that, I had know idea how she was. I wanted to ask but I knew there was no point; she was either alive or dead and I wasn't going to get any answers until the rest of us were safe.

Before I could really start to worry, I burst from the tunnel, knocking a door away and found myself in a big, dimly-lit store room just in time to see Ax disappear out of the back door which he had crudely opened with his tail. Too small for a full grown grizzly. I would have to go out the front. The man who had been running in front of me turned and I saw black hair spiking out from under his mask; he was brandishing his dracon beam unashamed and scowled daggers at me as he heaved for air. I decided I didn't like this guy.

_Put that away and run! _I snapped at him, charging for the front of the store room as the Hork-Bajir's cries became audible; I could hear screams from the shop and the door was already smashed open so I guessed that Marco had already passed through this way.

I noticed the guy start after me as I crashed through what was left of the door and into a thin hallway. The cramped surroundings just annoyed me further and I sped for the shop, growling madly, fur bristling.

"RRRROOOOOWWWWWRRRRRRRR!!!!" I roared as I burst onto the scene; my grizzly's roar wasn't as terrifying as Jake's, but it was still as powerful when I felt angry enough. It worked; the remaining people in the ruined shop stared at me wide-eyed, their face's frozen in shock and terror.

Perfect.

I barreled past them all while they were still frozen with horror and was just making it out of the no-longer-glass door when the screaming began. I couldn't see the guy who we were trying to protect so I shrugged it off, supposing he had followed Ax. We were quite close to the forest, so after dodging behind the store, it wasn't long before I was leaving the mad lights and screams of the store behind me; it made my bear mind feel nauseous. There was something nagging at the back of mind my mind but I didn't have a chance to brood on it.

_Rachel? Are you intact? _

_Yeah, I'm out. Chill. _I reported, the numb pain in my front paw becoming more evident now I wasn't in the middle of battle; still, I'd had worse.

I was close enough to hear Ax relay my message onto the others, presumably in human morph. _Rachel says she is out of danger and that we should all lower our temperature. _

I sighed mentally and rolled my eyes then froze, still looking up, realizing what was bothering me. I hadn't seen Tobias since the Yeerk pool. Usually he would be riding the thermals above us, checking in to make sure I was okay.

_Tobias?_ I called in private thought speak. _Tobias, you there?_

No answer.

_Tobias?!_

Panic suddenly sent my heart rate crazy as I searched the skies with my lame eyes; I started de-morphing as I closed in on where I thought the others were, feeling my powerful grizzly face melt away into a very human expression of worry. He couldn't have gotten captured, could he? No, I wouldn't let it! Not again. The idiot, why didn't he just get out of there when he saw Erek?

I knew the answer but it just made me feel worse and I squinted, scanning the forest. Where _was _he?

I pushed past some stubborn scrubs, ignoring the thorns sticking into my thin morphing suit, and arrived at a small clearing, framed by young twisted trees. Cassie was sitting next to at a tree, looking a bit bemused as she shook her head at Jake who was hovering over her, tense and practically shivering with worry. Flaky dry blood was spattered over her but she seemed otherwise blissfully unharmed.

Thank God for morphing.

Ax stood near the controllers who were muttering in a group, casting nervous glances at Ax's twitching tail blade. Marco stood right the middle of the small ring of shrubs, staring at me hard. I scowled at him, not in good humor, and he eventually groaned dramatically before turning away.

"Oh, _perfect._" He sneered. I clenched my teeth; what the hell was _that_ about? Tobias still wasn't here! Didn't they _care?_

Cassie frowned, noticing my expression but Jake just gave me a searching look then stiffened his jaw, looking away. I followed his gaze and noticed that the black-haired guy wasn't with the rest of the escaped peace-movement. I never liked him anyway. I glanced at the skies, my hands curling into fists, but there was still no sign of Tobias; we had to go back! They must have got him! I couldn't let him go through that again!

Jake swore under his breath, causing Cassie to give him a reproachful look. "One of the peace-movement got captured." He said, his voice hard. "They know we're human. If they torture him, which they will…"

"…then we're dead." Marco completed in a final sort of voice that sent a shiver through the clearing. The shiver of horror stopped point blank at me though. I couldn't take anything in, my mind was already accompanied; how _dare _they just assume that Tobias was floating in the sky, watching our stupid backs? Was I the only one who _cared _that he was missing?!

Jake put his poker face on and started to spew out his thoughts. "We need to find a way to get him before-"

"_SHUT UP!" _I yelled, making everyone jump and stare at me; but I couldn't help it. Too much anger and worry had pushed my emotion over the boiling point and had sent me high on emotional adrenaline. "I don't _care!_" I hissed at Jake who was too shocked to be angry.

Marco broke the silence. "Xena's finally lost it." he snorted, dismissively.

I almost snarled and ran up to him, grabbing the front of his shirt roughly, glaring into his eyes and ignoring the gasps from the 'peace movement'. It wasn't really him I was mad at but he had given me a reason to vent my feelings out on him in not-so-friendly fire.

"Don't push me, Marco." I snapped at him, my eyes angry slits.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and spun round to face Jake, eyes narrowed as he stared at me. "Calm down, Rachel." he ordered, and suddenly his eyes softened slightly, looking more like my cousin than our all powerful leader. "What's up?" he asked, knowing that a fight alone, even a partially fierce one, didn't get me this wound up.

"Tobias!" I yelled, getting it off my chest. "Those _filthy _little _slugs_," (I noticed the peace movement shy back slightly as Ax's tail twitched more than before.) "Have captured him and none you seemed to have _noticed!_"

A shaky silence followed.

Jake's eyes widened and I noticed Cassie stand up.

"But I thought he was…" Jake's mutter faded away as he looked up to the skies then almost pleadingly at Ax. Ax was unnaturally still, his top pair of eyes searching the skies better than I ever could as a human; I would have bet anything that he was calling for him privately. Eventually, after what seemed like flipping eternity, all four of Ax's eyes slowly moved to Jake to give him a blank stare.

"Well, that's the cherry on the cake." Marco grumbled, dripping sarcasm and annoyance; I had an urge to punch him.

"When was the last time we saw him?" Jake demanded, ignoring Marco.

I stepped in, my voice so harsh it almost hurt my throat. "When he was lagging behind in the flipping Yeerk pool, trying to watch our flipping backs like he always flipping does!" I snapped, suddenly confused at who I was so furious at. The Yeerks? Jake? The peace movement?

Everyone?

Whenever I tried to think clearly, all I could see was Tobias's face just after we had rescued him from torture, burnt into my brain.

_We collapsed in exhaustion, amazed that we had escaped and feeling a little giddy. We were all de-morphing, hidden by a thick canopy of trees._

That was close. _Jake admitted, breathing hard; I could tell he was blaming himself for the state we found Tobias in even though he was trying to hide it._

"_Yeah, but you got us out. " Marco said, walking over to him and clapping him on the back. "Great job, dude."_

_I was about to laugh giddily and ask if they could get a room when Cassie interrupted me._

"_Tobias?" she whispered quietly, a fear hiding behind her voice as she stared at him._

_Frowning, I got up and turned to look at Tobias who I realized had still not de-morphed from Andalite…and that was it. The look on his face. It horrified me even more than his almost dead, half-morphed body had and burnt into my heart, where it would stay forever. He didn't seem to notice we were there, staring and listening to something none of the rest of us could see. The growing expression of horror on his face was alarming, terror making him shake violently from head to toe._

_I stepped forward slightly, my heart beating so fast I could hardly feel it. "Tobias…?"_

_But he wouldn't or couldn't hear me, tears suddenly falling down his cheeks like rainwater, staining a salty path down his tortured face…_

I shivered, bringing myself back to the present. I wouldn't, _couldn't, _see him like that again; I couldn't take it. I know I was thinking back to the extremes but it still irrationally scared me; thinking how horrified he was, how he couldn't force himself to say a word to any of us until well into the next day, when Jake had got Ax to drag him down to meet up with them at the beach…

As if she could read my thoughts, Cassie suddenly appeared next to me and threaded her arm through mine, like we used to do. I hadn't realized that I was shaking. I glared at Jake as the truth sunk in and he furrowed his brows, glaring at the sky.

Then he opened his mouth and I expected a brilliantly thought up and encouraging plan, showing just how we were going to get Tobias back.

Instead, he just swore again.

Very encouraging.

**Tobias**

…Where…was I?

Though I couldn't feel any pain, my head was still foggy and every joint ached; I couldn't even find the strength to open my eyes, too dizzy already to be overwhelmed by my sharp eyes. Where was I? I couldn't remember…wait…Yes! I was in the Yeerk pool! We were trying to get the Yeerk peace moment out safely and Rachel was in trouble…then…a dart…

Feeling slightly frustrated, I concentrated, trying to see past it but my memories suddenly turned fuzzy and uncertain. I remembered…someone holding me, taking me away from the battle. Rachel?

I wanted to believe it, but as feeling came into my body, everything felt too forbidding; something was wrong and it was tearing me up that I didn't know what it was. Trying to keep my suddenly over-active imagination at bay, I teased my eyes open slowly, taking it everything I could; my heart sank when I realized I had no idea where I was.

It seemed to be some sort of hovel, the room bare apart from a chipped cupboard in the corner and an adjoining room which was cut off by a thick curtain from which I could hear muffled noises; too muffled by the curtain to decipher. I seemed to be in a large but crudely made cage, bits of hay strewn across the floor, probably intended to make me feel like some sort of animal, degraded and inferior; it didn't work. Dracon beams, covered in a mess of wires and mounted on vices that barely looked better than the ones anyone can buy at B&Q, were stationed around me, lights blinking hypnotically.

I hardly realized that my heart was pounding insanely, irrational fear throbbing through my veins. It looked just like…the place _she _had taken me to the last time, when she had tried to kill me and my friends, but it had just ended in her own death…

Taylor was dead.

I needed to get that through my head.

She wasn't coming back; she _couldn't_.

I tried to look for things, even the tiniest details that made it different to the place she had taken me to before. For one, this place was made out of wood, all the windows nailed up in corrugated metal and the only light coming from a couple of flickering lamps. There were flakes of randomly colored paint across the walls and almost homely smell spread from the curtain. Spilled pots of make-up and a cracked mirror were splattered in a corner and there was a gap between some of the crude metal that covered the window; beyond it, it could see what looked like the forest floor, dark and overgrown.

As my head finally cleared of whatever was in that dart and I could think logically, I noticed something that made my heart speed up again.

Clamped around my throat, slightly too big but still tight enough to make my neck ache, was a metal band with a sort of blank light on one side; it was smooth and cold, though small ridges in the inner part jutted into my skin. I shifted uncomfortably, trying to ignore the screaming voice in my head that told me to morph as I eyed the mounted dracon beams; though I really didn't want to, I thought back to when I had last seen something all too similar.

_They register basic changes of shape. Morph and they'll fire. Morph and die._

"Won't you speak? I've so missed the sound of your voice, Andalite."

I jumped and would have took wing out of fright if the roof wasn't so low; I knew that voice, it was…no it couldn't be her. I must be losing it. She was dead. Whoever had spoken began to laugh, shrill and harsh, as I quickly searched for wherever they were hiding. I figured they must be behind the curtain, using some way to talk and spy on me as they laughed at my fright. I mentally kicked myself and glared at the heavy curtain, keeping my mouth shut. They was no way that they would think that I was just a normal hawk after finding me in the Yeerk pool, but I wouldn't give them anything else.

"No? Can't you speak?" Tay- I mean, the voice cooed, tauntingly.

I stood my ground, as still as marble as the curtain suddenly flapped and a hand appeared; I watched in growing horror as the rest of her followed, standing framed in the doorway like a grim reaper.

No!

_No!_

It couldn't be her! She was dead! Dead!

But as I stared in horror, there was no denying it; she had changed, horribly so, but it was still her and the same murderous smirk was still splattered across her face, the same expression I had seen repeatedly in my nightmares.

Taylor. My ghost. My torturer. And as I took in her expression, I wondered whether I would soon have to add '_my murderer'_ to that list.

Her hair was still long and blonde, styled so it looked almost spiky as it fanned out from her face; she was as fashionable as ever with lacy, tall stilettos and skinny jeans from which about a hundred charms and chains hung, clinking next to each other as she moved; her artificial arm and leg shone brighter than ever; flashes of blood red crimson shone from her nails and overly-smothered, smirking lips and deep black mascara framed her eyes and made her lashes look like a million spider legs. And then, almost the most horrifying thing of all; a scabbed warped burn that spread around her ear and over a quarter of her face and swirling around her eye like a flame. Part of it was still bleeding and it looked as through she had been clawing at it with her long nails, blisters busting and letting blood ooze down her face.

A chuckle grumbled deep in her throat as she swaggered over to me, her mad staring eyes boring into mine; I suddenly realized that my wings were flapping fruitlessly and I was shaking violently, barely balancing on my talons.

_You're dead. _I told her stupidly, my voice sounding much calmer than I felt; it betrayed none of the horror that bordered on hysteria which filled my mind.

A delighted grin took over her face and she bent down, close to my cage, and swept her hands greedily over the surface of it, as though she wanted no more than to get past the bars and throttle me.

"I might as well be." She hissed, her words clashing with the undisguised blood lust in her eyes. "Do you see what you've _done _to me, Andalite?! Do you see how you've destroyed my life? No. He can't. Of course he- the fool! Of course, you can't! You can only see the surface of our suffering!" Her face was smooth but her sentences kept breaking and tripping over the words, as though she was half talking to me and half talking to herself. She suddenly pressed her face closer and I stumbled back in terror, memories of my torture rising up and drowning me as I tripped over my own talons, lost in her mad, swirling eyes.

And as I stared, I saw something which should have terrified me more than anything. She had always been calculating, evil, insane; the last time I had seen her, she had been hanging onto the edge of sanity with her claw-like nails, trying to drag me down with her. But now, there was something different in the depths of her wide pale blue eyes; something had snapped, something had tipped her over the edge. I no longer saw any restraint to her deadly thoughts, no string that held her to reality.

"I will break you, Andalite. You know I can. I will tear your mind apart as slowly as I please until you're just _begging _me to kill you." I could hear the truth in every word she said.

Her eyes widened and hysterical laughter burst from her blood red lips as she measured my reaction.

I was barely holding it together as I remembered my last torture. I was shaking too much to even stand up, horror and terror spiking my blood and a strange sound was coming from my hawk throat which sounded like I wasn't getting enough air.

Relax, I ordered myself. You're a warrior. Stop acting like an idiot. She's bluffing. This might not even be real! It's just a nightmare or something that came on after bumping my head. I saw her die! This can't be real.

But then she reached behind her with deliberate slowness, bringing out something that was buried in the core of my pain; I moment I saw it, I felt my resolve shake and I almost lost it. I almost broke down then and there.

The torture device. The small device with wires and lights sticking out of one side, a gap where it looked like a small button had been ripped out and two large bright buttons; one red, one blue. Red, pain, blistering knifes, twisting, digging deeper… Blue, pleasure, hysterical laughter, images of friends you were never going to see again… over and over, again and again! Ghosts of my torture suddenly reared up and compressed me, choking me. I couldn't go through that again. Not again! I couldn't stand any more…

I had come so close to insanity and death that if my friends had been half a minute later in rescuing me, I would dead now.

Her finger hovered over the red button, licking her lips maliciously. "Remembering the good times?" She asked, narrowing her eyes, delighted.

No, God no…not again, please not again…

I tried to act like Rachel, brave and mighty, or Ax, cool and determined; I tried to focus on her face but everything was strangely blurred, the device and her mad eyes the only things I could see.

_How are you alive? _I snapped at her, though my voice broke at the end as I realized the similarities between the sensors on the device and the band around my neck; I couldn't take anymore…I couldn't escape, couldn't morph…I refused to just choose death, no matter how tempting it sounded.

Taylor saw right through me and laughed at my pain, relishing in it; she took in every nervous twitch in my body as she slowly put the tip of her finger delicately on the red button. No! I had to stop her, stall her!

_My friends are coming! _I almost shouted, desperate; she paused and looked back up at me, amused. _They'll find me and this time, I'll make sure you die._

Empty words.

"Your '_friends' _don't know where you are or even if you've been taken." She smiled widely. "I doubt is they've even _noticed_."

_Just because your 'friends' stabbed you in the back doesn't mean mine will. _I spat harshly, being stupidly emotional; if I pretended to be angry, to be in control, then I could mask my fear.

For the first time, her mask cracked and her face was suddenly pressed up against my cage, fury creasing her face and distorting her burn. "Listen to me, you _vile_ little bird." She snapped, sending a shiver down my spine. "I- wait…" Her eyes suddenly unfocused. "Later…yes…we should…we have…forever…I like that…it deserves it…"

I stared up at her, confused; who was she talking to?

Or a better question; who was in control?

Taylor or the Yeerk?

Or both?

Suddenly, she jumped up with a flourish and jerked her head up so fast, I'm surprised she didn't get whiplash. She smiled at me triumphantly, clicking her shoe against a stone with every word she said, punctuating and giving effect to her voice. "We have _forever_ to talk, vermin." She stretched her red lips into a wide smile, barley concealing her canines. "First, I think we must remind you of your place. You have…no idea how long we have yearned to do this again; revenge is sweet, is it not?"

_You're pathetic. _I informed her, still going with the 'anger-masking-the-fear' approach.

To this, she only giggled to herself; my brain whirred while she amused herself, thinking of all the possibilities. To my surprise, I realized, even though I was still taking my fear over-the-top, how in control I was compared to the last time I was faced with the prospect of more torture; I didn't dwell on it much. Focusing on the important matters, I wondered how Taylor's appearance was even possible, or if my friends had escaped.

Maybe this was just some horrific dream bought on by hitting that wall.

Maybe my friends had all escaped and brought me to Cassie's barn where they were waiting on me to open my eyes.

Maybe it would be alright.

Then Taylor jammed her thumb down on the red button and my heart twisted. There was a second when nothing happened apart from the collar sharply tightening, the ridges digging uncomfortable into my skin, and what felt like needles poke out and puncture my neck. I looked up at her and was about to speak when- _NO!_

Scorching knives, digging deep into me from every direction and twisting, twisting!

Every nerve in my body screamed and writhed in pain, sending my wings in spasm and slamming me against the wall.

A red haze covered my eyes as I screamed voicelessly in my head, the pain blocking out everything but hurtful memories that suddenly reared up and clawed at me.

_Rick Stathis smashed his fist into my gut, sending a spasm of pain through my body, jerking me. I tried to stagger away but he grabbed me, throwing me hard onto the floor as uncontrollable tears spiked my eyes. I tried to get back up, maybe to run, maybe to defend myself, but he suddenly stopped me by stomping on my stomach; he laughed, knowing that I had no-one to tell, practically doubled over as I retched…_

His laugh echoed around my head, twisting until it became a crazed mall-rat giggle from my torturer I couldn't see.

My muscles knotted and twisted as capillaries burst in my eyes and suddenly all I could see was blood…

_I flew up, horrified with myself, leaving my friends who had narrowly missed the same fate as me. _

_And they were so happy. _

_Why wouldn't they be? Who would want to be like me? I was never going to human again, never going to touch anyone, never going to be able to speak out loud or eat without feeling sick with myself. My silent scream echoed in my head as I flew away…_

The pain over loaded my human mind, throwing me aside. I tried to hide behind the hawk mind, begging it to save me; the hawk could accept pain, it didn't care about it. Pain was unavoidable, pain was life. But my human side couldn't stand it, couldn't stand the pain that was building up and tearing me apart.

Oh God, make it stop! The pain!

It was like being forced through a meat grinder, like being shot and clubbed. A loud ringing sounded in my ears and my nerves twisted and shattered as snapped feathers fluttered around me. Every battle I'd ever been in, every wound I'd inflicted, stared me in the face and stabbed me; all the pain I'd caused was suddenly on me and I screamed. Screamed and screamed and screamed.

What does she want? _What does she want?! _

But I knew.

She just wanted my pain, wanted to hear me scream; _revenge is sweet, is it not?_

I begged the hawk to help, tried to let it shut down and stop the pain…

And it did.

Everything suddenly stopped.

I stopped.

I was floating in a timeless world, shuddering as the shadow of the pain ate at me.

Then….slowly, my vision returned, bits coming together like a jigsaw puzzle through a bleary film of my own blood.

I saw her start to appear, as though she was walking through a mist.

She was real. All too real. I couldn't believe this was happening. It didn't seem possible that my torturer could come back and persistently haunt me though I had been trying so hard to forget her. Why…

I blinked hard a few times, trying to get the useless thoughts of self-pity out of my head.

"Tobias…" Taylor cooed, leaning closer. "Tobias…"

That took a few seconds to register to my human mind through the dull pain. Tobias…how did she…? Suddenly, my brain kicked into over drive and I stared at her, horrified.

She knew my name!

If she knew that, she could piece together our secret and tell Visser three what we really were; I could have killed my friends and Earth's last defence in one foul swoop, just because _Taylor _knew my name. I dragged my human mind into the spotlight, searching it madly.

How could she-?

Oh. Right. Duh.

Rachel had said my name in the tunnel and Taylor must have worked it out; I never gave Rachel saying my name a second thought, too convinced of Taylor's death to think too much of what she was thinking. But would Taylor have put everything together? Would she tell? _Could _she tell?

I thought of Rachel, bold and reckless, able to give everything and fight through anything for her friends.

I thought of Rachel who I stupidly and irrationally loved more than life itself.

I thought of losing her.

That fear alone would have sent me shaking if I wasn't trembling already; it almost surprised me when I realized how near I suddenly was to begging Taylor not to reveal our identity. You're real. I accept all the pain. Just don't tell. Let her live. Let them all live. I kidded with the idea that she didn't know as I tired to steady myself as I stared hard into her unguarded eyes; all I saw was her unashamed, twisted pleasure.

She gazed back at me lovingly, fingers twitching around the control. "Don't hold back the screaming this time…" she whispered. "I want to hear you _burn."

* * *

_***Slaps hand* Bad Mimi! Bad! :P I'm so evil! I'm sorry! *glomps Tobias* D: Heh, at least Taylor's back -.- You know you missed her! :D**

**Thanks for reading up to here! Love you all! ^^ Oh and I've decided to dedicate each of my chapters to a reveiwer :D Yeah, It's only a few words that say you rock, but still. I can't send cookies through the computer. I tried. This Chapter's for Mia! My besty friendy on the interwebz! Have some Cabbage flavoured chewing gum. :D**_  
_


	5. Something I've noticed

_..._

_To anyone still reading this: I AM SO SORRY! D: Seriously, I last updated this in January. I'm seriously the worst. I'm sorry. I will try harder D:_

_This chapter is dedicated to Riza-San and Mia (CabbageWatsonBubblegumPoesy )__ who both rock and have totally amazing stories that I totally advise you to check out. :D *throws candy floss at them* Yey them! xD_

_Disclaim: I don't own anything :_)

* * *

My name is Erek.

And right now, I'm a cupboard.

No, not literally _a cupboard_. Long story short, I'm part of a race of ancient androids called the Chee. We live in secret on Earth, spending our time underground and using holograms to blend in with the humans; I can look like anything I like, though I don't usually spend my time as a cupboard, trust me.

I stared through my hologram just outside the Yeerk pool entrance, watching the aftermath of the Animorphs' escape. There were no other Chee around that I could get information off through Chee-net, so I'd changed my hologram and lagged behind, doing the only really useful thing I can do in this war.

Gather information.

They never suspect that a cupboard's spying on them.

I watched as the last Animorph, Rachel, barreled through the door, a wall of savage teeth and bristling fur. She paused to growl at the last peace-movement member then knocked him forward roughly before crashing into a hallway. I don't think she realized how close the controllers were; I barely had time to turn my eye-camera on when five clumsy Hork-Bajir tumbled out of the entrance, blades raised.

The peace-movement member Rachel had left behind never had a chance.

Given, he did put up a fight, certainly better than what _I _would have been able to do; he kicked and flailed around, trying to curse around the hand clamped across his mouth and firing quick bursts of his dracon beam. His aim was terrible and he almost blasted my head off, but he did manage to blow a hole in one of the Hork-Bajir's arms; not that that did anything but still. Kudos.

I felt a twist of frustration as I watched helplessly as he was dragged away, back into the depths of the Yeerk pool. I just stood there and did _nothing_.

I could have helped him. Saved him. But I would have lost my mind in the process.

See, another thing about us Chee is that we can't hurt a conscious being. Whether it's a human or a worm, it's written deep within the core of our circuits that we can't even raise a hand against them. Only one android has ever managed to use the Pemalite Crystal to rewrite this programming. It ended with two dozen Hork-Bajir and humans dead and the android had pathetically broke down, unable to handle the violence he now capable of; he had returned his programming to the non-violent way it used to be and had given the crystal to the animorphs to destroy.

Maybe it's weakness, but it's hard to get the image of me ripping mercilessly through flesh and bone out of my head. A picture perfect memory doesn't help either.

So I did all I could do and merely videoed his capture then waited a few minutes before switching my hologram and quickly making my way into the main shop to blend in.

All I could do.

The shop was in complete pandemonium, people shouting and trampling over magazines and food spewed from an over-turned cart. It was just a general, down-the-road store with everything from out-of-date milk to slightly melted chocolate bars, but unfortunately was quite busy.

Apparently they noticed when a bear and company came crashing through the store. Who would've guessed.

"Wild animals!"

"Oh my god!"

"It was going to eat me!"

I think humans _like _to panic; they're certainly very good at it. Suddenly a cubby man with an unhealthily red face almost charged into me after waddling around the whole room, screaming his head off; he seemed to be quite enjoying himself.

"The tiger!" He yelled at me, grabbing my shoulders for emphasis. "Did you see it? It almost _killed _me!"

I blinked.

"Did it hurt you?" I asked innocently, quite obviously looking him up and down for any injuries.

He paused then puffed his chest out and held up his finger and thumb with a flourish,. "It came _this _close to me." He explained spectacularly. "It almost took my head off!"

Luckily, I could control what was expressed on my hologram, so he couldn't see my attempt to muffle a snigger. "What's the world coming to?" I mused, sighing dramatically. "Letting tigers run around shops and everything."

Apparently, this wasn't the response he was looking for, and after a stiff nod he walked off to retell his traumatic experience to a young woman who seemed much more sympathetic. I snuck out, bemused, as they collapsed into each others arms, playing the tragic hero.

I got out without anyone noticing me; it's something I like about the hologram I'm using now. It's a very forgettable face. I can totally blend in with a crowd. The animorphs were waiting in the edge of the woods not far from here… presumably they already knew they were missing a-

"Get out of my way!"

I played the human façade and quickly jumped out of the way, as girl no older than 17 ran past me, arm raised and ready to shove me away. She barreled past, breathing heavily with wild blonde hair covering her face.

What was with everyone running into me?

I knew the animorphs were waiting for me, but something about this girl made me pause and look at her properly as she stood beside the bike, franticly fumbling with the keys and muttering furiously to herself, too low for me to hear with the average human hearing I had installed; I wasn't sure if I wanted to hear what she was saying anyway.

Her hair was a striking blonde and seemed to have a mind of it's own; it spiked and frayed from her face it a strangely styled way, waving around whenever she moved. It made her look wild yet controlled at the same time. A black bag was slung across her body, banging against her hip with every step she took. Her jeans were close-fitting and expensive-looking, though there were slashes cutting right through in random places, something dark staining the frayed ends. If that doesn't set off warning bells I don't know what does.

She was wearing a baggy leather jacket which was obviously hiding something; one arm was holding it in place, knuckles white and tense. She kept shifting it around, as though she was trying to let it have enough air though, as tight as she was holding it, she was probably strangling it anyway.

Then, as she viciously stuffed the key into the ignition, her arm slipped and I caught a flash of red. Reddish brown. A reddish brown feather.

Oh crap.

It was gone in the same moment, but I knew what I had seen; you can't fool an android. Instinctively, I ran forward a few steps with an arm outstretched to try and stop her leaving, though I knew I couldn't even touch her.

Instantly her shoulders tensed and she whipped round, her eyes wide and cheeks flushed, and I finally saw the whole of her face. I froze.

_What the…?_

A plain white mask was covering half of her face, even covering her eye and over lapping her mouth. On it, there was a crude attempt of drawing the other half of her features; there was a wobbly eye, drawn too big, pen drawn eyelashes splaying out like spider legs. Real lipstick had been generously smothered on, shockingly scarlet, to complete her lips but it had been smudged and a jagged streak of red now cut her face in half, as though someone had splattered fresh blood across it.

She looked mad.

The girl suddenly jerked her hand and grabbed something from her bag, raising it up so it was level with me, her arm suddenly deadly steady. In her hand was a dracon beam. In broad daylight. The visible side of her lips twitched.

She look insane.

"Get away from us human." She rasped, narrowing her eyes at me. "I don't need _you_."

_Play the peace maker_, I thought madly. I held up my hands, palms openly forward, and tried a smile.

"Sorry miss, I just wanted to make sure you were okay-"

"Why wouldn't I be okay?" she snapped back, the visible eyes now a deadly twitching slit. "I'm not- _leave the vermin._"

A strange feeling of pure dread was crawling slowly up my artificial spine as she seemed to make a decision and started backing away. "Vermin?" I managed to make my laugh light; I noticed her grasp her hidden captive all the tighter. "That's a bit harsh isn't it?"

I found myself ignored as she suddenly thrust the gun back into her bag and straddled the bike, one hand on the handlebars. I had to stop her.

I had to.

But I couldn't.

The bike suddenly roared into magnificent life.

Before I could make a sound, the demented blonde had turned to face me again, a sickly sweet smile slapped onto her lips. "Tell me human…" she began again over the rumble of her bike, though her voice had changed from a threatening hiss to a far-off giggle. "To you, am I… beautiful?"

Beautiful? That weird feeling of dread had returned, nipping urgently at the edge of my consciousness.

"Very." I lied, smoothly.

She allowed herself a smug, self-satisfied grin before she finally kicked off, driving away in a worryingly shaky line and leaving me to stand alone.

All I could do.

I turned my eye-camera off and strode in the opposite direction, where the animorphs were waiting.

Apart from one.

**Rachel**

We all have a place in our team. We battle such strange and dangerous beasts and we find our selves in the most unimaginable situations that we have a very constant and delicate team structure. We need it. If the slightest thing is off we frail and panic like we're drowning in burning oil. If we're anything but our stereotypical selves we hesitate and shudder at the seems. We fail. Die.

It's something I've noticed.

Jake need to be leading. Marco needs to be joking. Cassie needs to be worrying. Ax needs to be focusing.

I need to be jumping in recklessly and scaring everyone with my brutality.

It's the way things have to be. I wonder what it's doing to us.

It's something I've noticed recently.

I can't think of something specific that Tobias gives us. The pessimistic observations? The sensitive understanding? Or just _him_? I can't put my finger on it. But we need it.

After Taylor first captured him, he became withdrawn and self-doubting. We wouldn't hear his opinions anymore. He wouldn't morph human to be with us anymore. He hardly even came to see me anymore. That's when I started to notice it. Even though Tobias was the same in battle he really threw us off. We talked wildly to fill in the silences and glanced skywards in worry, searching for the silhouette that was supposed to be there.

We hesitated at dangerous times, waiting for the comment that he couldn't utter.

He slowly went closer to normal and we relaxed. Change was bad. Change made us make mistakes.

It's something I've noticed.

That's why I'm streaming ahead with all the gusto I can manage and complaining loudly about Marco instead of curling in on myself in fear and putting my head between my knees.

"_I've got something to show you." Erek said gravely and I noticed him throwing a wary glance at me._

_Jake instantly stared at him expectantly as he walked into the center of the clearing, as though expecting him to whip Tobias out of his back pocket. Suddenly, Erek flickered like a badly tuned TV and his normal hologram was replaced with that of a crazed looking girl with a shock of blonde hair._

_Let's do it! _I chorused again and again to myself, trying to get into the right frame of mind, not really making sense. _Let's do it!_

_We all recognized her. We all saw the flash of feather Erek had managed to capture. We all realized what had happened._

_My blood ran cold._

I tried not to think of the one I was searching for. If I did, I'd think how important he was suddenly. Suddenly I would know for certain that with him gone, the cracks that snake across my being would finally brake apart.

_Taylor had Tobias._

_Let's do it!_

In the midst of a battle, I don't have to pretend. Faced with the prospect of a battle, I don't have to pretend. Right now, pretending is all I can do.

I'm half a mile straight up, surrounded by air and supported by nothing but my outstretched wings. My and Cassie's orders are to scan the forests for any sign of Tobias or Taylor while the others go after the controller. Cassie was a few hundred yards to my right, dipping up and down as she inspected every little thing; she suddenly smoothed out and I instantly knew her attention had swirled to me.

_Are you okay, Rachel?_ She was worrying.

I'm not sure if I can pretend to Cassie, my best friend. Once upon a time, a lie between us would be scandal. But now?

Then, before I had even registered what I was doing, I was burrowing my insecurities away where no one could see them and my quick-fire mouth was starting by itself.

_Yeah, sure. But how'd you think Taylor survived? _I thought of Taylor for the first time and real boiling anger began to rise up and crackle along my skin like lightening; I focussed on Taylor and her alone, letting my hatred of her put a red haze over my eyes and blinding myself to the real reason of my fury.

Cassie went to say something, but my words spewed out before she had a chance. _She's like a cockroach; she just won't _die_. Well, this time I'll make sure she does. I'm gonna kill her, I really am._

Cassie didn't reply.

Taylor. God, I hate her. She was seriously dead.

"_Do you hate her Tobias?"_

_Tobias blinked and fidgeted a bit, his bright human eyes turning thoughtful. "Uh… well… no. I don't think I do."_

_I turned to him, incredulous. "What?!" I didn't understand; surely he should be really the same stinging hatred I did? "She tortured you. She nearly _killed _you. How can you not hate her?"_

"_I don't know." He answered truthfully, looking away from me and up at the swirls of clouds. "I know this sounds kind of dumb, but… I sort of understood her." he suddenly frowned. "I mean, she told me about her human life and stuff and… I don't think I _hate_ her."_

_I stared in disbelief. After a few moments of silence, he turned back to me, remembering to put a small smile on his face._

"_No, I don't hate her."_

"…"

Why don't you hate her? Why can't I breath for these emotions that crash through my head? How can you be… you? Idiot, idiot…

No, don't think of that, don't, don't.

Suddenly a tiny silhouette swept across the horizon, one with flimsy wings that skilfully caught the air and sent it heavenward. I watched it dance across the sky in gentle swoops.

I snapped.

_Tobias? _I cried out in private thought speak, sounding more desperate than I had intended. He was missing, captured by the thing hell decided to spit back out. _Tobias? Tobias? Tobias?_

All the anger and drive suddenly fell away, and I was just me, just Rachel.

_Tobias?_

I was scared.

_Tobias?_

He could be dying. Dead. Gone.

_Tobias!_

What was the last thing I said to him? Oh God, I can't even remember.

_Tobias?!_

The far-off bird suddenly ducked away and out of sight in the dense trees. I couldn't see it anymore.

I felt like crying.

* * *

_Gah, this chapter was so hard to write. And it's the worst chapter yet! D: Hopefully it will get better… One hopes. Since the mental block took so long to lift… (I apologise once again…) …I haven't wrote animorphs for a while. Did I get the characters right? I've got this horrible feeling I haven't. D: I know. I totally suck. -.-_

_Anyway! Please review! The next chapter will be along faster! Well, faster than this one in any case. Heh._

_Rock on Grasshoppers! XD_


End file.
